Monday, October 17, 2011

The Curse

The past 2 weeks, i've been working at home, trying to start my real career.
And if it's a lot of work to organize your tasks, finding suppliers and distributors.. i find it even harder not to be affected by the perpetual roller coaster i'm on, when it comes to inspiration and self belief.
Here is what my weeks looked like:

Monday i know exactly what i'm gonna do ! i'm i'm so convinced !
Tuesday i'm what ?! this has no quality what so ever ! how disapointing !
Wednesday i feel lost. I don't what to think or do..
Thursday i get a new idea "this is so much better" i develop it.
Friday i continue researching like hell about that new idea, references, material, possible targets..
Monday that first idea was so cool !! how could i hate/ignore it !! i work on it !
Tuesday this ? it's ridiculous and boring..
Wednesday nervous breakdown !

and constantly, the "It has been done already" complex in my head.
The fear of being one among hundreds of similar thoughts.
a bit like this:

source

source

source

source

source

Source

source

source

source

source

But like everythime i become aware of a pattern i have, i tend to calm down about it, i know i'm down, but i also know i'll be up again in 2 days, just before i be down again... so lets not feel guilty or stressed. Let's just learn how to work with it.

5 comments:

Mdmslle. said...

Keep on, dear! I know exactly how you must feel. The hell of a creative mind. But let me tell you, the first idea is always the best, keep on working and thinking on it. And give yourself some time. Hope this week will turn out better for you than the last!

la fille citrouille said...

chin up!
times they are a changing - that's always good.

Polly said...

Alice, this is just the beginning... don't be too hard on yourself. I actually think you should be very proud of what you're doing. you haven't chosen an easy path! hope you'll feel more confident again soon :-)

Camilla said...

This sounds SO familiar! I feel like that every time I have to create something as well. It's stressful, and most of the time I actually end up going back to refining my initial ideas... I have no idea why.
But don't worry, I think all creative processes are difficult to begin with. I'm sure you'll do great once everything is not so new any more :)

Frk. Slej said...

I get this feeling too again and again. I guess it is part of the requirement of thinking new. I love the pics you found to demonstrate it!